Dead. I am so dead. Beyond dead.
I cannot believe this. Barmaids know better. Merchant's daughters know better. Innocent village maidens in a small village hell and gone from ANYTHING besides a nice big orc and goblin filled forest know better. NO ONE takes my flirting seriously. It's ridiculous, it's impossible. Who could imagine for a second that anyone could mean anything as outlandish as what I come up with? Who in their right mind would believe me on anything anyway?
Oh, but NO. First thing this morning Aprilane comes over with a poultice for my neck - which was sore as all hell, so good - but she'd made it SPECIAL. With special herbs and stuff, that she was telling me about while she was blushing and patting my shoulder and standing close and all.
Aprilane. Who doesn't want anyone to stand within 5 feet of her. And blushing. And special treatment. So bad. And then I catch Ugrun's eye - and it's on fire. Bad enough Aprilane has..um..well, is buying my bullshit (how can ANYONE believe...) but Ugrun wants her for himself - which I am all in favor of, I just don't want him to kill me to achieve it. All I have to do now is push the two together - with him too proud to say anything and her...well, she's buying my flirting, so enough said.
Well, if she's THAT innocent, at least I shouldn't have to worry about her...um, pressing. Shame to skip the kissing, but it's just not worth the risk. At least the rest of the day was quiet.